Annie on My Mind (Book Review)

    I'm not sure how I came across a recommendation to read this book, but "Annie on My Mind" by Nancy Garden was a beautiful and minorly startling read. Startling only because it was written so openly about gay teen girls back in 1982! It both felt of it's time and equally prescient 40 years later. But the short take: do you like lesbian teen stories that are beautiful (you probably do and that's why you read my blog)? If so, this is just a really sweet and well written teen novel from the 80s about being gay and in love.

    The story focuses on Liza, who attends an ailing private school in a nice part of New York City and her chance encounter at a museum with Annie, who attends a public school in a not-so-nice part of 1980s New York City. They click instantly, and then, they really click and they keep clicking, and they keep getting closer, and...

The Girl that Can't Get a Girlfriend (Manga Review)

    "The Girl that Can't Get a Girlfriend" by Mieri Hiranishi is an auto-biographical LGBTQ manga. In keeping with my general philosophy towards auto-biographical works, I will not be commenting on the story or characters themselves because those are real people and real events, so it's not for me to dissect them. Also, out of respect for the author, this is their work and their life, and they should be proud to have it out there for the world to see. That's a very brave thing.

    All that being said, I wanted to love "The Girl that Can't Get a Girlfriend" but I didn't. It was okay, just okay. I think it suffers in comparison to some extraordinary works, particularly "My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness" which is extraordinary on so many levels, that most things will pale in comparison. But I also think about graphic novels like "Fun Home" or "It's Lonely at the Centre of the Earth" or even "Hyperbole and a Half" and unfortunately "The Girl..." just doesn't compete.

Even Though We're Adults volume 5 (Manga Review)

    I'm still not sure what to make of the series "Even Though We're Adults" by Takako Shimura, and the same goes for volume 5. 

    Disclaimer: I love both her series "Sweet Blue Flowers" and "Wandering Son" even though many would call her writing uneven and a bit problematic in ways, and maybe even raise concerns about her legitimacy as a writer not knowing for sure what her personal sexual/gender identity is and whether she has any business writing about LGBTQ characters. I frankly don't care if she is a cis-woman (and I'm not saying Shimura-sensei is, just that it wouldn't matter to me if she was or was not) because I find so much connection with those two series and they are so personally meaningful to me as a trans-lesbian. As I mentioned to an acquaintance once, I like her writing because her characters and stories are messy. They aren't "perfect" LGBTQ spokespeople, their lives don't neatly fit into media and agenda friendly boxes. To me, that's what makes them more real and the complexities of their experiences resonate. 

    But I can't quite figure out if "Even Though We're Adults" rises quite to the heights of those earlier series. 

    As you may know, this focuses on a married young woman who develops a relationship with a single young woman and then needs to decide what on earth to do with that. In the early volumes (light spoilers), Ayano eventually tells her husband about Akari and the three even meet up. This didn't strike me as the way anyone in this situation would handle things. But eventually Ayano does ask her husband for a divorce. 

    However, in volume 5, she still has not told her family exactly what is going on with her husband. They think they're just fighting and that's why Ayano is living with her parents. So, her parents continue to invite her husband over for dinner, again and again, and even forcing things a bit further. Wataru, the husband, even pushes things himself with Ayano in one of the most painful moments I've read in a Shimura-sensei work (I won't give it away). That was a moment that hinted at Shimura-sensei's powers as a writer. That scene felt true to me on many many levels. 

    We also see that despite their attempts at creating space, Ayano and Akari can't stay away from each other. But we don't get much of them together in this volume.

    Interestingly, Volume 5 also spends some time with Eri, Wataru (the husband's) sister, and her emotional/social struggles as well as relationship with her mom. I find that the mom is well written, particularly in this volume, as a real and whole person, not a stereotype. And while some of Eri's hikikomori-type ("shut-in") tendencies have been depicted decently throughout the series, the turn her arc takes in volume 5 felt a bit abrupt. However, in that abruptness, Shimura-sensei again creates messiness, which has it's own value yet again. Maybe the abruptness was only a factor of the medium and not wanting to prolong getting to this particular plot point? Maybe it will feel less abrupt if I were to read volumes 1-5 in succession rapidly to catch little changes in Eri that I just didn't remember when reading volume 5?

    Thinking about how I sometimes struggle to fully appreciate manga series when months go by between volumes, only to find more cohesion when I re-read the series all at once, I bet that will emerge with this series too. Even then, I'm not sure it will have the profound effect on me of her earlier two series, but I'm starting to see the messiness I like in her stories/characters. 

    And maybe "Even Though We're Adults" doesn't have to be profound, complex, or genre defining? Maybe Shimura-sensei is just writing a "simple" (for her) story with engaging/messy characters, and that's enough? I'll definitely keep reading because even in it's potential lack of greatness it is still much better than most of the middling shoujo and yuri manga I end up reading (not for lack of trying to find better stuff, trust me, and suggestions always welcome).

✩🚺

Please legitimately purchase or borrow manga and anime. Never read scanlations or watch fansubs. Those rob the creators of the income they need to survive and reduce the chance of manga and anime being legitimately released in English.

All comments are moderated by a real person who only checks them once a day. Therefore, comments may take a while before they show up. Thanks for understanding. It's how we keep this a community of lovingkindness.

A Tropical Fish Yearns for Snow (Manga series review)

    I did it. For you dear readers. And maybe a little bit for my own to make sure I wasn't completely full of shit. But I did it. I reread all 9 volumes of "A Tropical Fish Yearns for Snow." If you read my quick hits post a few posts back, I touched on volume 9. But basically, the volumes came out with such time between them that I couldn't always feel the emotional flow of the story and by volume 9 was just confused. So having re-read all 9 in quick succession, I can definitively say that this series was another disappointment for me.

    Quick synopsis: Konatsu Amano moves in with her aunt in a small seaside town when her dad goes overseas to work (we get hints that the mom has passed away). On her first day at school she meets Koyuki Honami, a senior, and sole member of the school's aquarium club. They connect and start a deep friendship.

    SPOILER WARNING: I will be talking about the overall emotional arc and "ending(?)" to this series. So if you don't want spoilers, don't read any further.

    Last chance? Okay, still reading?

    Here's what I hate in recent "yuri" (I hesitate to call this series yuri, but whatever, that's for another rant): I hate when a story is too weak kneed to commit to what it's trying to say, what it wants it's characters to mean when they say or feel things, and what it actually wants the central relationship to be. Life isn't as obtuse and faux-literary as these writers seem to make it. People either are or are not friends, they either have romantic feelings for someone or they don't, and no one soliloquizes in oblique terms the way the dialogue and internal monologues are written. 

    Long story short, I have NO idea whether Konatsu and Koyuki either a) have feelings for each other, or one for the other, but not reciprocal, b) are just friends, c) are more than friends in actuality, d) know what the fuck is going on in their own story. I think (surmise?) after re-reading it, that the author wanted to appeal to a broad range of folks, folks who like friendship stories, folks who want actual gay representation (yes, it feels queer bait-y to me), boys who want to look at cute girls in a "slice of life" story, and women looking for deep emotional stories regardless of the themes. But in it's attempt to cover all those bases, it covers none with any value.

    People will disagree with me, they'll say that the parallel between the salamander and frog story ("The Salamander" by Ibuse Masuji - frequently and openly paralleled throughout) and the two girls perfectly captures this time of pubescent transience, where people are starting to figure out who they are, where relationships are both powerful and fleeting, and where relationships are about how they change you and now how they last. "The Salamander" also explores how powerful feelings can also cover over the limits that a relationship imposes on a person's growth. Sure. Fine. Make that argument that "A Tropical Fish" really gets at what Masuji was addressing. It's valid. But the mangaka still wrote this manga like crap. The ambiguity is not profound here. It's not enlightening. It's not thought provoking. It doesn't add to, expand on, or even really get at the heart of Masuji's points. This manga is just intentionally non-committal writing to pander to a wide audience without actually adding anything of literary value. 

    Let's examine two vastly superior examples of where ambiguity can work if written well and contrast those with this middling series. The first, an anime movie in my top 5, is "Liz and the Blue Bird." I have watched it many times. I liked it at first, but honestly had some of the same reservations as I did with "A Tropical Fish." However, after many re-watchings, I realized that it had a very strong character development arc that I missed at first (It turns out it's actually a film about Nozomi's growth more than anything, and her realization at the end is powerful - it also does a better job at reflecting on the story of "The Salamandar" than "A Tropical Fish" does, even though that story isn't in it). It also did very well with using a parable story to reflect on the main narrative (I wonder if the made-up parable here was actually a rewrite of "The Salamander" hmmm). And, while it never makes clear whether Nozomi and Mizore are dating, it works equally well as a story of two close friends as well as one of two dating teens. So although their relationship is ambiguous (especially without watching "Sound! Euphonium") the ambiguity doesn't sabotage anything. Read their relationship either way and the emotional and character development arc works equally well. It also has depth that continues to reveal itself with each viewing, something that I did not find in my re-reading of "A Tropical Fish"

    Looking now, with no surprise to my regular readers, at "Maria-Sama Ga Miteru" (Maria Watches Over Us, aka Marimite). For those unfamiliar (and really, why aren't you familiar with it if you're reading this blog, if you have any interest in yuri, this series is the epitome), it is the story of girls at an all girls catholic school in Japan with a system of formalized big sister/little sister mentor/friendship pairings. This series too is oozing with ambiguity. Are the various characters friends? Are they lovers? There is only one openly lesbian character. But the other relationships certainly could be read that way. Or they could be read in the way of deepest friendships, transcending even the Anne of Green Gables "Bosom Friends" concept. But again, that ambiguity doesn't matter. It doesn't diminish the emotional intensity of the interactions, it isn't necessary to understand them. Emotions are clear, they are talked about, they are expressed. Characters change (Yumi's arc is awesome. Touko!!! Don't even get me started on my appreciation for Touko's arc - totally team Touko over here). The plots are clear. The motivations are clear. The arcs are clear. 

    And that, my readers, is my biggest problem with "A Tropical Fish." It is just poorly written. It's as if someone tried to write something like those two vastly superior series and confused obtuse, non-committal writing, for nuance and thoughtfulness and actual character development. "A Tropical Fish" just isn't well written. If the relationship had been defined, then it would be a fine (but by no means good or great) series. If they were just friends then some of the more overly dramatic emotions probably wouldn't have come up, and maybe the author could have focused more on how their friendship spurred each on to better define what their next life steps would be (certainly an element to the "ending" of the story). Or, if they were actually in (or pursuing) a relationship with each other then some of the more overly dramatic parts could have been further clarified and thus would have made emotional sense. But because the relationship isn't defined, and the writing is so bland, the emotions somewhat implausible, and the "purpose" of the series so ill-defined, it just all seems superfluous. It's almost like what you would get if you asked an "AI" (scare quotes intended) algorithm to write a yuri manga series. It superficially resembles yuri in every way, but has no actual human insight or touch at it's core.

    Some final thoughts: 1) I put "ending" in quotes at the beginning because another problem with this series is that it doesn't have an ending. Yes, the characters go their separate ways...or do they? Just like it wouldn't commit to friends vs. romance, it doesn't commit to their separation either. It really feels like it was written for "shippers" rather than having any purpose itself. 2) The art is decent, I like the somewhat odd use of thick lines along with more precise work and a sketchy feel. It isn't great. But it is interesting. It also looks a little less formulaic than many have lately. I do wish for more screen tones, detailed backgrounds, atmosphere, etc... but for what it is, it's not bad.

    SPOILERS OVER.

    Should you read it? Only if you want a frustratingly purposeless, formless, mediocrely written story of two high school girls who have a variety of ill-expressed "feelings" about "things" and also train fish to swim through hoops. Mostly, it ended up being a waste of time. In some ways, despite my frustrations with the series "If I Could Reach You," at least that series ended with some semblance of character development even if it left many dangling threads (I really liked some of the side characters who got short shrift as the series went on). But "A Tropical Fish Yearns for Snow" is just one bland, ill-defined, and yuri-by-committee feeling mess." Maybe don't spend your money on it?

✩🚺

Please legitimately purchase or borrow manga and anime. Never read scanlations or watch fansubs. Those rob the creators of the income they need to survive and reduce the chance of manga and anime being legitimately released in English.

All comments are moderated by a real person who only checks them once a day. Therefore, comments may take a while before they show up. Thanks for understanding. It's how we keep this a community of lovingkindness.

Short Takes - what I've been reading and watching since August

Hi all, can't believe it's already mid-November. My lack of posting hasn't been for a lack of reading and watching, simply a too-busy (but good-busy) life. Moved my daughter off to college, the start of the school year (I work in education) was simply bonkers, started taking drum lessons, and I've finally started dating (my new girlfriend is so awesome!).  So here are some quick thoughts on all the media I've been consuming. Enjoy:

Anime

Spy X Family

    I didn't have much hope for this. I was vaguely aware of the hype around it. I didn't know much of anything about it. I'm not sure why, but it didn't seem terribly interesting. Instead, it was probably the season's best anime by far. It was funny (actually laugh out loud funny), sweet (romantic and parental sweetness), and some good action (which isn't usually my thing in anime, but from time to time I don't mind). It is smartly written and varied enough from episode to episode to never feel the least formulaic. 

    If I had to quibble, our lead female character, Yor, is a mixed bag. First, I really like her character. She's cute, and sweet, and yet fierce and an assassin, but a good fake parent, and odd, and all sorts of quality characteristics. But at the same time, she's presented with some superficial meekness - the mid-twenties, office girl, shy, doesn't speak much, etc... that seems to go unquestioned in many a portrayal of women in anime/manga (or is the selling point - see "Komi Can't Communicate"). I don't think the writers of Spy X Family are trying to actively critique that "meek anime girl" stereotype when they also have Yor be an assassin. I think it's more like they are juxtaposing the two sides of her without any social commentary on the outdated depiction of women (or maybe even the outdated role of women in Japanese society). But, like I said, all that aside, I actually like her character a lot and the scenes of her coming home covered in blood as a teenager and then sitting down to help her brother with homework or whatever were really darkly funny. Basically, if you haven't watched this, you really are depriving yourself. 

    While not an all-time great show by any stretch, it is a supremely enjoyable watch and I can't wait for season two.

Kageki Shojo!!

    If you've been reading this blog, then maybe you've read some of my reviews of the Kageki Shojo!! manga. I've felt that it's been okay, but not great, and not quite what I thought when I first started reading it. That made watching the show an interesting venture. Compared to the manga, I actually enjoyed the show a bit more. I think it slightly streamlined and slightly altered the focus. Part of what confused me with the manga was the prologue volume "The Curtain Rises" which focuses on her roommate Ai. I really like Ai's character and was excited for her story. I also, and I need to re-read it, but I also for some reason thought there was potential for romantic feelings between Ai and Sarasa which never has gone anywhere in the main story. So I thought it was a yuri comic, but it really isn't. Knowing that, I could watch the anime without false hope. 

    So being a slightly more linear way of telling the story, with none of my emotional baggage dragging it down, I could focus on Sarasa and the general story. By that token, it's okay, still not great, but at least less disappointing for me. I don't think the animation is very good. Sort of a blandly normal color palette (more just a general laziness of colors, like they only had a basic water color set or something - the sky is random blue, the grass is random green) and simple but not in a stylish way. There's also some occasional anatomical awkwardness which is especially concerning with the dance (and boy howdy did I just get reamed out in the comment section of another review of mine when I critiqued the animation of another dance anime even though my F-ING SISTER is a professional ballet dancer and I've been watching dance my whole life - but noooooooo it's clearly not possible that I might feel that some dance pose wasn't well animated and how dare I note that! But I still posted that anonymous commenters frustrations at my review for the sake of discourse, anyway, I digress.) 

    So the story is okay, but I don't feel really emotionally invested. We're told right from the beginning that Sarasa is uniquely talented and going to do amazing things in the theater world. So if the end of this series is just her rising to the top of Kouka, then what's the point unless the journey is meaningful. So far, it really hasn't been. However, if it had been the backdrop of a yuri romance then I'd be all for that, or even if she had seemed more torn about leaving Kabuki behind, that would help. 

    What would be really awesome if it takes a turn and somehow she leaves Kouka to force her way back into Kabuki AND she and Ai start to develop feelings for each other! That would be interesting. But now, this feels more like a middle-school oriented story of a plucky and talented girl who everyone just can't help but rooting for sort of story. Which is fine, but meh. So the anime was a little better in some ways than the manga, but not sufficiently so. 

Manga

A Tropical Fish Years for Snow Volume 9

    What an infuriating series. I'm going to have to go back and re-read the whole thing to see if I missed the point or some crucial information along the way. Certainly the last few volumes have been confusing and nearly pointless. Volume 9 completes the story, but I'm not sure anymore what the story was? Was this about two friends whose lives briefly intersected? Was it two girls who realized they had romantic feelings for each other? I can't even figure out what caused their growing distance over the last few volumes. 

    At least for now, without re-reading it, it seems like a classic fake-yuri for the sake of capitalizing on the yuri genre, but not having anything really meaningful to say type of manga. So many are like this (at least of what gets translated to English). It's like they're afraid to either just tell a story about two female friends and make it clearly that. Or they're afraid to tell a story of actually gay teens. Or they're trying so hard for the unspoken subtext of a series like Maria Watches Over Us but not in the least bit understanding how meaningful subtext is created. And most infuriating to me is that it displays that awful manga convention of completely meaningless existential fake feelings with no moorings in any actual way real people think so that it seems meaningful but it's just pretentious nonsense writing. 

    Again, maybe I missed something. I wanted to re-read all nine volumes before writing this. But you know what? I had more fun things to spend my free time on. Maybe down the road I'll re-read it an like it more. But for now it honestly seems like it wasn't willing to commit to it's two teen girls having the least big of agency over their own feelings, ownership of their own feelings, or any ability to write a coherent and meaningful story in any way. What was the freakin point of this series?

    Stay tuned for my re-review of the entire series as I'm almost done rereading it all.

If I Could Reach You Volume 7

    This is the final volume in yet another infuriating series. However, I did re-read this final volume three times before writing this, and much like how when I was a teen I hated the ending of "Chasing Amy" but as an adult realized that although it wasn't the story book ending it was the actual correct ending, I think this volume improved with each read. 

    That being said, the overall story of this series sucked! There are two options for it as I see it. Option 1: actually have Uta and Kaoru get together and just go with the whole not-quite-incest thing. Or option 2: have Uta's feelings be one-sided and a school-girl crush and have Kaoru not even remotely lean into those feelings. But it sort of ends up in the middle. Closer to option 2, but not quite enough. I still think, that much like A Tropical Fish above, it thinks that ambiguity is a great way to be a great writer. Well it isn't. This isn't some experimental piece of literature. You're not writing a tone poem comic book. You're telling yet another fake yuri story but refusing to commit either way to writing people as real people. 

    Just like I love Takako Shumura's stories because everyone is messy and complicated and it doesn't work in the fantasy way we like but that's what makes it actually like real life, I dislike this story because they don't feel like they could be real people. That criticism having now been said, the volume and the story did improve with subsequent readings. I just wish it had owned some of the following things a bit more. Kaoru, as flawed as the writing is, is fascinating to me because I can very much see a young woman without much family falling very hard for a young man who is kind and family oriented and a protector.  It makes sense that Kaoru ends up with Uta's brother. And I think her coming to realize that what she wanted at 18 (parents) is different than she wants in her 20s (a partner). I think where it leaves off with Kaoru starting over at the end would actually make a very compelling start to a series I'd much rather read.  

    Turning to Uta's brother, I don't quite understand why he thinks he has to marry Kaoru just because of the "death bed promise" (sarcasm for a classic manga cliché plot device) he makes with her mother. That just doesn't feel real to me (and I know it doesn't have to be real - but we still want character motivations to make sense and be relatable or at least plausible). This isn't some fable from the 12th century where he's honor bound in that way. And it isn't some grade-school cartoon where plot, character, and sense don't matter. This is just a stupid, quick, lazy plot point to force the story into motion rather than an authentic reason why they married but shouldn't have. 

    Are authors just not putting in effort and just taking the easy way out for a high-school girl audience? Maybe I've just hit the nail on the head with this, and A Tropical Fish, and Kageki Shojo, and others I've read recently. Have I just reached the limits of what shoujo manga can give to me as a 42 year old? I don't think so. I hope not. But maybe it's the lowest common denominator stuff being translated. My hope is that there is a lot better shoujo out there just not getting translated into English. 

Daytime Shooting Start volume 12

    Yet another final volume in a series I've been reading/reviewing for a while now. And another disappointing series. Maybe mostly disappointing because I came to really like the art and really like Suzume. But Shisiho still is scum for being a teacher who is romantically interested in a minor student of his. But at least Suzume has really moved on and really is with Mamura and treating him well. 

    A commentor had told me to stick with this series because it really comes around, and while thankfully it doesn't consumate the relationship between Shishio and Suzume, it never condems it. The closest the series gets to that is with Suzume's uncle and Shishio's friendship suffering as a result. Again, this feels like how a middle school girl might think an adult man (Shishio) would experience this. 

    But honestly, an adult man who likes a minor child is NOT an object of worthwhile affection or swooning over. Yes, I know, there's a long tradition in manga and anime of may/december and especially with school girls and their teachers. And, and I don't know this for a fact, but maybe that even happens with some regularity and allowance in Japanese society, but it is still not okay and nothing in this series was a commentary on that in a way that obsolves the series. Substitute Shishio for a random boy in her class and the story is just another random shoujo romance. Waste of good art and a good lead heroine. 

Books

And Now Tomorrow by Rachel Field

    This is the second Rachel Field novel I have read. She's really not much known, but while this isn't nearly as good a novel as the prior one I read, Time out of Mind, it retained some of the unique aspects and social commentary of that better book. An Now Tomorrow takes place in a New England saw mill town. Emily's family has owned the mill for generations. But as the great depression looms, times are getting tougher, unions are forming, workers are agitating, and the writing is on the wall for the Nuevo Riche. This is set against her personal story of engagement, losing her hearing to illness, and her determination not to lose her fiancé because of it. 

    The romance storyline (and the ultimate pairing) are the stuff of romance novels and the story of her illness is draped with ableism and an admittedly fake treatment for deafness (and no mention of the Deaf community), the weaving in of the societal changes going on is fascinating. So if you can bear with some overwrought writing, the ableism, and a predictable (if not all together unlikable) romance, you have an interesting document of the times. That all being said, Time Out of Mind is better written and also has much of the social awareness. I found it worth reading for what it was, but your mileage may vary.

The Price of Salt (Carol) by Patricia Highsmith

Photo Credit Justine Larbalestier

    You may know this better by the title "Carol" which is the name given to the recent film based on the novel. At the time I read it, I actually didn't know it had anything to do with the movie (which I haven't seen, but now really need to). Basically, this turns out to be one of American literature's signature lesbian books. Patricia Highsmith has a whole personal history worth learning about. But this book holds up on its own as an incredibly moving, interesting, slow-burn, sub-text turned real, lesbian love story. Set in the 40s, it is the story of a young woman finding her place in life - balancing boyfriend, career aspirations, life in New York City - when she meets a woman in a store and is mesmerized. We're then treated to the growing friends to lovers story with an ending that was (and remains) all too rare in lesbian fiction. 

    It's language is beautiful (you know I'm a sucker for good writing), the characters interesting, the plot developments rewarding, and ultimately a very unique novel for the time that still holds up well today. The only things that don't are the excessive amount of smoking and an unfortunate use of the second worst "n-word." Not to say you should put any of that aside, because being put off by those things or at least pondering your own reactions to them is a worthwhile enterprise. But, other than that, the book is such a beautifully written, moving, lovely novel, that you really should read it.

The Good Neighbor (biography of Fred Rogers)

    The only way to talk about this biography is to break it into two parts: 

        1) Fred Rogers and his story, and 

        2) the quality of the authorship. 

Most importantly, Fred Rogers emerges from this both confirming the truth and reality of everything we saw in him on TV and hoped he was in real life and an actual honest-to-goodness real person. And blessedly, the real and complex person he was doesn't in the least undermine the mythic and nearly holy figure he was in our lives (at least mine). Mr. Rogers (I'll use Mr. when I'm talking about TV Fred) was a source of great comfort to me. I loved the pace, the tone, the look of the puppets, everything about it. And when you can say someone is your hero, you put them on a perch. And people on perches are sadly easy to knock off (or fall off themselves - I'm looking at you Neil deGrasse Tyson). 

    But it turns out that Fred Rogers truly lived his life the way he taught others to do on his show. That doesn't mean there weren't complexities. What emerges of the real-world Fred Rogers is someone who managed to be so deeply committed to his belief in what people could be and the importance of starting that with children who also was a very good and beloved person in real life.

     Yes, there were times he grew frustrated at his own children (what parent doesn't), there were times where his work schedule was nearly impossible for others in the company to keep pace with, but he was never unkind to people. He gave each and every human being he ever met (whether family, co-worker, friend, or stranger on the street) every ounce of his time, attention, and commitment. I was completely and totally fascinated by the thoughtfulness of how he created his TV show as well as the brilliance of the real man, a truly beautiful and true person. How exceptional to have one's childhood hero elevated by their real life, rather than destroyed by it. 

    On the other hand, the author of the book, while someone who knew and worked with Fred over many years, can hardly be called a writer. The chapters appear to be loosely chronological and thematic. There is a lot of going back and forth in time to meet with the themes. However, the expressed themes don't really always match with the digressive nature of the writing. The author will drift to random thoughts and stories and back again, will offer unfounded or unexplained statements and leave them dangling, and overall it's just a generally disorganized presentation. 

    Thankfully, none of it diminishes the information or the picture of Fred Rogers we come to understand. It just isn't a great read from the standpoint of "use of language." If I had one other potential reservation about the writing, is that there is a potential for bias in that the person writing about him clearly knew him well and could not be objective. They must have had a great relationship, because nothing in this suggests that Fred Rogers was even capable of really turning anyone off. And thankfully it doesn't beatify him, but seems to show just how beautifully real and consistent he was. However, one wonders what an objective biographer would have uncovered or chosen to use that was perhaps left out. I have no evidence of this, and frankly, don't really want any. I loved Mr. Rogers and found Fred Rogers just as, if not more, amazing. I am very thankful for that.

The Impending Blindness of Billie Scott (graphic novel) by Zoe Thorogood

    In anticipation of her newest graphic novel being released (It's Lonely at the Center of the Earth"), I decided to pick up an earlier work ("The Impending Blindness of Billie Scott"). I first encountered Zoe Thorogood on Instagram and immediately was taken with her line work, her visuals, her funky honest emotional drawings. Billie Scott has all of that, but also shows an artist earlier in their career than what she is producing now.  It centers on a young, poor, reclusive painter. Tragedy strikes and Billie Starts losing his vision. Who is a painter if they cannot see? The story is journey of the last few days of Billie's vision. That's a hell of a story to tackle your first time out!

    From a graphical perspective, there is a looseness of form that doesn't always appeal to me (but might not bother others) and in general is just isn't as crisply executed as her newest work (I'll review "It's Lonely" soon). The other thing, if I'm to find fault (and I don't mean it to sound like this, but I know it's coming out this way), is that the story, while ambitious in some ways, doesn't necessarily feel completely honest - there's a bit of glossing over (even amongst the griminess) and then an ending that feels a little too perfect. 

    I think it's overall a big work for a young artist that shows her potential and I hope to see her newest graphic novel grow from that potential. Fans of indie comics should check this out. But I think we'll look back in time and find it the weakest in her oeuvre. And that's totally okay.

✩🚺

Please legitimately purchase or borrow manga and anime. Never read scanlations or watch fansubs. Those rob the creators of the income they need to survive and reduce the chance of manga and anime being legitimately released in English.

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Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit (Book Review)

    "Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit" by Jeanette Winterson (published in 1985) was a surprise find in my home library. I simply don't remember purchasing it. And so when I was looking for a "downstairs" book to read, I chose to read it without even knowing what it was about (Downstairs = on the couch, Upstairs = in bed - I often read two books simultaneously). I now completely understand why I bought it, and while not quite a masterpiece, it is well worth your reading.

    "Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit" is a short novel about a girl, growing up in a very Pentecostal English community and her growing awakening as a young lesbian. That in itself would probably be reason for me to read it, but of course, my main goal when reading a book is to love the language itself. 

    And there was much to love. As a first novel, Winterson displays an ambition in both her storytelling and structure. Much of the prose is straightforward, but in a beautiful way. Not ornate by any stretch but neither boring nor perfunctory. Hers is a voice I'd like to read more of. 

    The story itself, and in some ways there is both a lot of story and very little, is semi-autobiographical (I believe). It is a fast read in both the length of the novel and the briskness of the pacing, jumping forward in time as it sees fit. Ultimately it is what it skips over that proves it's greatest weakness as a novel.

    The Jeannette of the story is adopted by a very devote missionizing mother. Her adoptive father is only vaguely in both their lives, apparently with no ill-will intended, he just simply couldn't possibly compete for space around her mother, for whom the entire novel orbits. Her mother in many ways is the center of the community's fervent faith. And as young Jeannette so calmly, so naturally, begins first one, and then a second relationship with a female friend, the town looks to her mother for how to address such a "demon" as her once promising daughter has become. And between their faith and Jeannette, there is really never a choice as to who will win in the end. For this is the real world, and not a fairy tale.

    That for me, is the one spot this otherwise beautifully rendered book falters. The book's ending (by no means the character's end) simply comes up too fast and too scattered. Just the right amount of time is spent through the first portions of the book. Each scene, each time period, each description is exactly what it needs to be and nothing more. 

    But then the book ends so fast, abruptly, and with a large time jump with little in the way of justification for a particular reunion and how that reunion plays out. Clearly so much has happened, so many things have changed (but obviously not enough), and yet we aren't privy to those developments. That lack of overtness can work to an author's advantage. Don't bother wasting the time or real estate on unnecessary details and back story and exposition when it's not needed. But when the meat of the journey is removed, it leaves a hole. From the climax to the resolution, there is almost nothing provided. It felt as though the book was missing 60 or 70 pages between the two. 

    That structure certainly didn't ruin the book for me. There was too much beauty and interest in it, too much to recommend it. But I want to know what happened between that climax (I'm so trying not to spoil too much for you), and the end passages. However, Winterson has another biographical book, more of a memoir, and I plan on reading that as well. Maybe I'll find some of what was missing in "Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit" in there, to piece together the gap in the fictional Jeanette's story with the real one's. 

    Do read this book though. It's quiet, calm exploration of Jeanette's growing feelings and understanding of herself intersecting with the fervent religious beliefs of her community and her own maturing understanding of her god, as possibly distinct from theirs, is quite compelling.

✩🚺

Please legitimately purchase or borrow manga and anime. Never read scanlations or watch fansubs. Those rob the creators of the income they need to survive and reduce the chance of manga and anime being legitimately released in English.

All comments are moderated by a real person who only checks them once a day (at most). Therefore, comments may take a while before they show up. Thanks for understanding. It's how we keep this a community of lovingkindness.

Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon Volume 3 (manga review)

    Ughhhh, such a frustrating volume. "Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon" is quickly becoming the worst type of the "new" explosion of "yuri" (it deserves the quotes here) manga. 

    In "Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon" volume 3 (and forgive me, but I hate that it's spelled that way and not "donuts"), Hinako can't figure out what she feels for Asahi or what she wants them to be: friends or something more? But not in the "am I attracted to this person or do I want to just be friends" sort of way that we might assume. NOOOOO, this is just dithering, completely unrealistic, drivel that has none of the classic "will-they-won't-they" tension nor anything valid to say about the LGBTQ+ experience from what I can tell so far.

    Let me break that down a bit more. Starting with why I put quotes around "yuri" in my opening paragraph. I want one of two things from yuri, either 1) actual LGBTQ+ representation/meaningful storytelling and/or 2) deeply intimate emotional connections between women (whether sexual, romantic, or not - such as friends/sisters). 

    But much yuri of the past few years seems to be populist dreck designed to appeal to those who are not ready for actual LGBTQ+ representation in mainstream manga OR who want the superficial trappings of it with none of the actual writerly craft it takes to have fully realized characters with deep and complex inner worlds who have actual feelings. 

    So much modern yuri, at least what is making it in official translations in to the US recently, is bland, unwilling to commit, and so poorly written. These series confuse characters who have "never thought about it" (romance, sex, etc...) with actual people who really do struggle with understanding who they are and how they fit into the world - you know, the way actually every human being does think about those things! Even if you are on the aro/ace spectrum, you have pondered why other people feel and think and perceived differently than you. You are not unaware. But so much modern yuri seems to focus on teens and twenty-somethings who seem like they have no concept that they or others have inner selves at all. And while there are some actual conditions in which a person cannot understand that another person has an inner-self, a "theory of mind" if you will, that is not what these character's stories and traits are about. This is shoddy, manipulative, and/or spineless writing.

    "Doughnuts" is quickly becoming emblematic of that wishy-washy version of yuri.  And I, for one, am no longer so desperate for representation, that I will accept anything with two women in it who might even vaguely be interested in one another. (Quick reminder: you are allowed to disagree with me, you are allowed to like or even love this manga, you are allowed to be moved by this writing. It is completely normal and a good thing if we disagree. Your feelings about it are just as valid as mine and I would like to know if it did affect you differently, please leave a comment!). I love a good story where nothing happens but two women stare at each other, blush at each other, yearn desperately for each other. But that's not this series either.

    In this volume, Hinako knows she wants to be around Asahi and spend time with her. When Asahi's friend Fuuka shows up, it creates some stirrings of what might be jealousy. But for being an adult twenty-something, Hinako is either: 1) completely unrealistically written as to have absolutely no sense of self, 2) maybe on the asexual spectrum (not that they'll ever do anything interesting with that like how "Bloom Into You" tackled it), and/or 3) written so that the author never has to actually commit to what romantic and sexual love between women looks like in order to keep this as middle-of-the-road, won't-offend-anyone as possible. 

    I don't know anything about the mangaka, Shio Usui, but it seems to me as if this series is written by someone who has no idea how women actually think or feel, and no idea that love between lesbians is just like any other romantic/sexual love. These characters in no way think, talk, act, feel like actual 20-somethings (or even humans for that matter - just bad writing). Hinako's lack of personal clarity isn't some sort of complex coming out story, figuring out who you truly are and what you truly want. Nope. This is just superficial angst pretending to be exploring sexuality and female relationships. This volume feels incredibly inauthentic. It's almost like a child playing with dolls. Even Fuuka, who actually seems to know she is romantically and sexually attracted to women isn't written convincingly. I'm worried that this might be another mangaka and/or editor and/or publisher who found a way to cash in on the yuri craze. 

    Now, the only other thing I can think of, to try and offer another point of view, might be that with Japanese society still largely hostile to LGBTQ+ people (forced sterilization of trans people who want certain legal recognitions, no gay marriage, etc...) maybe, just maybe, Hinako is so repressed by society that she really hasn't ever thought about her feelings for women and really is actually so not in touch with her own body and mind that she is oblivious to romance and sexuality. Maybe. But then we'd expect better writing to make that linkage clear. I don't think this series has any intention of exploring any actual feelings, issues, etc... 

    And yes, I know it's a light romantic comedy, so I'm not expecting deep dark treatises on sexuality, misogyny, homophobia, or other forms of oppression. But these characters are simply not three-dimensional people, these are not how people actually think or feel or talk. Even in a comedy. 

    So let us compare it to a completely unrelated series that is unmistakably yuri and a comedy (I know that most people would gag that I love it): "Sakura Trick" (and I'll specifically reference the anime here since I haven't read the manga). "Sakura Trick" is a comedy, a broad comedy. A comedy with male gaze and a horny camera operator. It is not deep. It does not tackle any social issues. But it doesn't shy away from actual intimacy between characters (and I'm not talking about sex or making out). As broadly played as "Sakura Trick" is, we can actually identify with these characters. We care about them. Their actions feel plausible (in the context and style of the series, and for their ages). And there is no shyness about it being girls who really really really like girls. So while "Sakura Trick" is much broader than the comedy in "Doughnuts" it shows that you don't have to always be "Maria-sama" or "Sweet Blue Flowers" or "Nana" - you can do light comedy and light romance. But you do have to commit to being honest in any genre.

    I'll probably read the fourth volume to see if it's going to go anywhere. But even if it does, it won't excuse the poor writing to this point. Volume 3 is non-committal fluff dressed up as yuri with no intention of going anywhere interesting. 

✩🚺

Please legitimately purchase or borrow manga and anime. Never read scanlations or watch fansubs. Those rob the creators of the income they need to survive and reduce the chance of manga and anime being legitimately released in English.

All comments are moderated by a real person who only checks them once a day. Therefore, comments may take a while before they show up. Thanks for understanding. It's how we keep this a community of lovingkindness.

Our Teachers are Dating Volume 4 (manga review)

    Somewhat unexpectedly, Our Teachers are Dating Volume 4 (Seven Seas) came shrink wrapped. I just assumed it was some weird Amazon warehouse thing. Well, for what is mostly a sweet, simple comedy/romance, it turns out the final chapter of this final volume was about as steamy as it gets. I was surprised there wasn't an explicit content warning on it actually, but the shrink wrap now makes sense. More on that to come.

    Our Teachers are Dating is a very light rom-com about two women teachers at a school who fall in love, date, and in this final volume, get married. It's a simple story. There is really no drama, no character growth, it's just meant as a feel-good story, I guess. I would honestly say that it's below average. Nice but nothing special.

    This final volume had the two women telling their families that they were planning on marrying which at least provided some interesting dynamics, especially when one family does not take it well to start. But honestly, there isn't much to say about this volume or series. Do you want to read a simple rom-com about two lesbians teachers falling in love? Do you not want to have to think while you read it because there is no depth? Then you're in luck.

Eclair Bleue, Eclair Rouge, and Eclair Orange (manga reviews)

    During the period where I took a hiatus from blogging, I also had to decrease my manga purchases, and so as a result after reading the first two volumes of the Eclair series (Elcair and Eclair Blanc) I didn't purchase the final three (Rouge, Bleue, and Orange) [published by Yen Press]. I'm finally beginning to chip away at my backlog and given the nature of these volumes, it made sense to just talk about all three at once. And frankly, there isn't much to say.

    Do you like middling, repetitious, and tropy yuri stories that are way too brief, relatively simplistic, and often have an unresolved tone to the ending? Well then you're in luck, cause that's about all you get with these three. And BTW, if it wasn't clear, I'm not a super huge fan of this series.

    Let's start with the format. Each story is very short, shorter than your average chapter of a serialized manga. It's interesting to me, because while I don't enjoy reading short stories (literary fiction short stories), I have found that I do enjoy writing them. So with that growing understanding of what I like about my own writing of short stories, it has made me even more suspect of the one-off stories in manga. And frankly, these don't have much to say. A great short-story provides amazing depth on the characters, time, and setting without ever spending any time on it. The writing hints, implies, or at least provides fertilizer for the mind to imagine all that came before and all that will follow. You'll find very little writing on that level here. Further, a great short story manages to either really give meaningful insight into a character, situation, or event or actually transform (even if minutely) the character in the space of the short story. Again, you'll find very little of that in these stories.

My Wandering Warrior Existence (Manga review)

    This is an impossibly hard review to write. What is the proper balance between writing an honest personal review of a work of art, respecting both the person and the effort they took at creating the work, and any attempt to critique a work that is also a memoir and not pure fiction? Those are easy questions to answer when the reviewer unequivocally enjoys the work. However, it can feel icky when the reviewer doesn't enjoy the memoir as much. I don't ever want to judge another person. But should I comment on the craft behind telling the story? 

    Today, the memoir in question is "My Wandering Warrior Existence" by Nagata Kabi (Seven Seas), the fifth memoir manga in her series that began with her seminal, brilliant, heart-breaking, affecting manga "My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness."

    Essentially, "My Wandering Warrior Existence" suffers in relation to the extraordinary "My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness." In fact, I've felt that each volume since that first one has been one of diminishing returns. That doesn't mean they haven't been good, or powerful, but with each one maybe a little bit less so. Maybe it's that the freshness and uniqueness of "My Lesbian Experience" simply couldn't be recreated now that it was in the world - after all it was so unlike anything before it, but all her works after invariably must contain reflections of it. Or maybe it really is that the subsequent volumes simply aren't quite as excellent. But for whatever reason, "My Wandering Warrior Existence" feels like the slightest of the five volumes so far. 

    It is, of course, quite good actually. Her rough art has amazing charms. And her writing about herself is brutally honest. But on the whole, "My Wandering Warrior Existence" isn't necessarily as memorable or profound as the prior works. And yet of course, every reader is bound to connect with different things differently, so maybe for some, this will be your favorite so far. However, it began to feel less important to me as her story shifts from some of the more desperate, dark, and harrowing places in the previous volumes. This volume mostly focuses on Kabi's attempts to begin dating, or thinks about beginning to date, and for the most part doesn't mine the levels of desperation, illness, and pain of the prior volumes that gave them their gravitas and import as literature. 

    That being said, there is one very complex and personal thing that Kabi brings up in this volume. I won't spoil it, but it could also be quite tough for some readers and she does provide a trigger warning and the page numbers to skip through. Purely as a reader, I felt it quite difficult how Kabi reveals this truly horrific and major personal information but then also moves on from it very quickly and never returns to it. This is her truth and her life and her processing laid bare before us, so maybe this is really what it felt like to her and she was able to just move on. But at the same time, I wished she had either explored the implications of this in her life more thoroughly and what the healing process was like (or wasn't like)...or maybe hadn't brought it up at all. In some ways, this event could be seen as making everything in the prior four volumes make sense. And Kabi starts to talk about it with that level of significance but just as suddenly as this revelation is made, she moves on saying maybe it really isn't the cause of all her challenges after all. Huh? 

    I certainly don't expect anyone to expose themselves so openly and personally if they don't want to, but then why bring it up at all just to deny that it has any role in the larger life story she's telling through this manga series? I suspect because it does have a bigger role than she is ready to explore publicly right now (or maybe even admit to herself). 

    As a reader though it left me feeling badly. An analog for the feelings that this approach evoked in me might be similar to when your partner says they cheated on you years ago but felt horrible keeping the secret - they unburden themselves at your expense (BTW this has never actually happened to me, my [very few] ex's are all good people). Like, what are you supposed to do with this information now? You were happy a minute ago, thinking everything is fine. But after sharing, they get to feel better (no more guilt) and now you feel worse. I know that that is not at all a fair comparison to make. Kabi has no need to justify how much or what she does with anything she reveals in her work. But it was my honest emotional reaction to how this event is handled so briefly in this work, for better or worse. It left me feeling burdened with its enormity with no recourse.

    Other than this brief section, which occurs roughly halfway through the volume over the course of a couple pages, there are episodes about wedding photos, dating apps, grandchildren, and a lot of research about relationships. These are fine, occasionally humorous, sometimes a bit didactic, but often feeling more like filler. Which makes the volume feel like filler, i.e. just not up to par with some of the prior volumes. But let's say hypothetically there were to be a few more stunning volumes after this one, then if one were to read all of them together, the stories here might work in that larger arc. But as a self-contained volume about her thoughts on dating, it just didn't quite come together as cohesively (or as importantly) as the prior volumes.

    Is it good? Should you buy it? Did you like her other stuff and want to keep supporting her as a creator? It was okay and I will certainly keep buying new volumes from her as they come out. As I said in the beginning, I feel very icky trying to write a review of a memoir, because that is that person's life. And who am I to judge another person's life? But as a reviewer, I can look at the art of putting that story on the page, and in this case, "My Wandering Warrior Existence" didn't work as well for me as her prior volumes. The explosive freshness of "My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness" may simply not be a fair comparison for any other works by her. Yet it exists and can't be ignored. 

✩🚺

Please legitimately purchase or borrow manga and anime. Never read scanlations or watch fansubs. Those rob the creators of the income they need to survive and reduce the chance of manga and anime being legitimately released in English.

All comments are moderated by a real person who only checks them once a day. Therefore, comments may take a while before they show up. Thanks for understanding. It's how we keep this a community of lovingkindness.