"Blank Canvas: My So-Called Artist's Journey" Volume 1 (Seven Seas) is the beginning of Akiko Higashimura's autobiographical series. As is my general policy when reviewing autobiographies, I won't be giving this a numeric rating. It just feels rude to rate someone's actual life. That being said, I really enjoyed this volume and can't wait for the next.

The story itself is quite simple. Akiko is in high-school, terrible at school, horrible grades, and she doesn't care because she fancies herself a brilliant artist and bound for art college. That is, until she finds out she isn't as good as she thinks she is. It starts with taking classes at a small local studio run by a militantly aggressive teacher who actually takes very good care of his students, just in his own mean way. He prods and pushes them to excellence but also shows a deceptive sweet spot for when they are truly suffering. He is their anchor and their buoy.

Akiko is certain she will succeed on recommendation to the college of her choice, but doesn't get in. She ultimately must do the traditional route of multiple auditions. Traveling to small college after small school to find someplace that will accept her. She just wants to be a manga artist, she knows she's great, so why is it so hard for everyone else to notice?

And that is the real beauty of this story. Akiko is so full of herself. That the now-adult Higashimura-sensei is willing to present herself as so brazenly unlikable (but not actually unlikable at all) is wonderful. And yet, I can't help but wonder if the story isn't really about her as much as it is about her art teacher. There are multiple times where Higashimura-sensei talks to this art teacher as if he no longer is around. We also get the sense that the adult Higashimura-sensei might be living in the house that was his art studio during her teen years. Something makes me think this will have a melancholy turn at some point. I can't wait to see how Akiko grows up from being a self-assured brat and into the successful and brilliant Higashimura-sensei.

The art is great as you'd expect from her. Clear character designs with a lot of expression. No one is perfectly perfect, they all feel like real people. The backgrounds are detailed, the use of screen tones and various grays add a lot of depth. The style has realism without being too realistic. And overall, there is just so much emotion and energy on every page.

If you are a fan of Higashimura-sensei's work, or love a story about a bratty art-student, or just want a good manga, then "Blank Canvas: My So-Called Artist's Journey" volume 1 is a great place to start. It was an entertaining read with the promise of more depth to come.

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Booksmart is absolutely adorable (Movie Review)

Booksmart - 8/10

I don't review movies often on this site, but "Booksmart" was so adorable and has a really well-done lesbian lead character so I couldn't resist. All you really need to know is that this film is absolutely adorable, and even if not quite perfect, it's well worth watching.

The movie is about Molly and Amy, two studious, awkward high school seniors about to graduate who face the realization that while they spent their entire high school careers studying to get into great colleges, many of their peers managed to balance studying and fun and still get into great colleges. Right there we see what separates this film from other typical teen comedies, and especially the "we're geeks who squandered our time and now we must leave in a blaze of redemptive glory" type movies. For while it is that second one, it consistently delivers welcome messages along the way - queer acceptance (nonchalance really), active consent, and no visible peer pressure to drink or do drugs (although there is a little of both in the film).

The plot follows Molly and Amy, who aren't exactly popular, as they attempt to make their way to a giant house party on the night before graduation. The goal is for Amy to finally tell her feelings to the girl (Ryan) she likes, and maybe hook up along the way. For Molly, it's mostly about having people see a more complete side to her, but also a little about her crush on the popular boy too.

Molly and Amy's dialogue, actions, and general awkwardness are exactly like real teens. They reminded me so much of my teen daughter and her friends. Unlike most media with teens who don't act anything like true teens, these two come off very authentic (for a comedy movie that is). Because in real life, even the popular kids are still awkward teens, the way they move in their still growing bodies, the way they speak somewhere between childhood and adulthood, and this movie nails it for the two leads. Sadly, it doesn't totally hold true for the side characters who are mostly played for stereotypes (and all seem much older than 18), but at least the stereotypes are so well written (and the actors seem to be having a lot of fun with them) that it's excusable.

I love the queer representation in this film. Having an out lesbian lead character where the film isn't about coming out is awesome. Unlike "Love Simon" which was okay, but not great, this film normalizes being queer. In addition to Amy, there are at least several other likely queer characters, and even though it isn't made explicit, having at least 3 queer characters is starting the process of eliminating tokenism. Also, actor Austin Crute absolutely crushes his scene playing some sort of Norma Desmond/Carol Channing over-the-hill 1920s actress in a murder mystery themed party they end up at (he pretty much kills every scene he's in). The writing is just so sharp, and manages to be funny without ever making fun of any category or group of people.

Some of the other great things in this film:
1) Active consent - although it occasionally feels forced, the film explicitly advocates for active consent (usually in a funny way) at least three times. Even if it is a bit obvious, I'd rather my kids get obvious affirmation on consent than other things that are usually in teen films. Way to go!
2) There are so many subtly funny lines. Punchlines that had me giggling even if most in the audience thought were just throwaways. There are also so many honest scenes and moments. There is a scene where Molly and Amy are watching something inappropriate on their phone and the subtly different ways each character reacts is a testament to the acting and also the truth of where each is at - its comedy without being broad or mean.
3) The actress who plays Gigi steals nearly every scene she is in. She's a recurring gag that really works. The actress sells it so well.
4) There was an absolutely perfect joke about coming out. It went more or less like this:
     Ryan (the girl Amy likes): "I always wished you'd come out."
     Amy: "Oh, uh, I did, like in 10th grade."
     Ryan: "No, I meant on the weekend to hang out."
It was done with some simplicity, like, "duh Amy, we all know your gay, no big deal." And was both funny and sweet at the same time.

However, despite my raves so far. The film isn't quite perfect. Here are some things I wished had been tightened up:
1) Some early scenes drag - the film could have used another pass at editing, especially the first act where some scenes just went on too long, or might have been able to be left out. In fact, cutting 10 minutes out of the film would have helped its pacing overall.
2) While most of the writing is SOOOOO good, there were a few moments, a few scenes, where it just went a little too "teen movie" for my taste and broke from the sincere (but funny) realism of the majority of the film.
3) The vomit gag. This really really should have been cut out. There's actually another perfect spot (pun intended for those who have seen the film) that could have been used instead to end the scene between Amy and Hope instead of needing a gross-out joke. This was one of the few times where I felt like the writing let the film's otherwise consistent over-achievement down.
4) Molly, one of our two leads, wasn't given enough background. I think there's more there that I would have liked to see explored. There is a hint that maybe her parents aren't around. They aren't in the film, she lives in a weird apartment complex, and no one is home to greet her after she gets back from the party. But I didn't totally know her motivation, and although they set up her character well early on, she isn't actually given as much growth as it might seem (although the actress nails what she has to work with).
5) There was a teacher hooking up with a student - AND THIS IS NEVER OKAY - no matter that the student was held back and is 20. This demeans teachers, it teaches kids the wrong thing about adults and people they should trust, and just served ABSOLUTELY NO NARRATIVE PURPOSE in the story. It also undermined a really great character in the teacher. She had some great lines and this hurt.
6) Which brings me to diversity. This film was better than some, with a black student, a black teacher, a probably bi-racial student (or two), a latinix student, an Asian student, the gay and queer students. But in truth, we had two white leads, and it seemed like very little diversity in the extras that filled out the scenes. Sadly, it was the funny black teacher who was the one that slept with a student. Now, it's not that I needed her to be lionized either, it just sucked that they gave her such a shitty moment. Also, let's get some disability and neuro-diversity in a film too while we're at it (if I'm being greedy, that is).

Now that feels like a whole lot of problems. But the truth is that 95% of the film was great, with some areas where it could have been slightly improved. Nothing is perfect, but the writing is so strong, the lead actresses are amazing, the queer rep is great, the comedy so kindly funny, and just the whole thing had this adorably charming quality to it. It wasn't trying to be "Superbad" even though everyone compares it to that (I'm a huge Michael Cera fan, and that's actually one of my least favorite of his films). Booksmart proved that comedy can be kind and still funny and that teen coming-of-age comedies don't have to be gross-out, drunken, make-out fests (because really, very little in high-school is actually ever like that). I highly recommend seeing this film. I'm 39 and enjoyed it, I bet teens will too. Booksmart gets an 8/10.

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Kiss & White Lily for my Dearest Girl Volume 9 is one of the best in the series (Manga Review)

Kiss & White Lily for My Dearest Girl vol. 9 - 8/10

Kiss & White Lily has been a slightly up and down series for me. I really love the main couple, and most of their story has been well done. It's been hit or miss for each side couple with each volume though. However, volume 9 is one of the strongest yet with very well constructed and told stories for both of the couples. It's also making me eagerly await the final volume with the resolution (hopefully) to the burning question for our main couple.

The side couple this time is Asuka and Mikaze who meet while cosplaying as some sort of magical girl duo. Asuka has repeated a year due to a sports injury and turned to cosplaying to fill the void in her life. Mikaze is then at least two years younger. They have quite different personalities, and it is the exploration of those personalities and their own expectations for themselves that pervades this story. They aren't easy on themselves even while being supportive of each other.

The story actually starts the reader off just after Asuka breaks Mikaze's heart and leaves her in the future, and then backing up to when they met. Thankfully the story chooses to advance beyond the breakup as they both continue growing, even when (temporarily) apart. It was a well written story with two well conceived characters whose emotional journeys are firmly grounded in the storytelling (and...SPOILER...we do get a happy ever after).

Our main couple, Ayaka and Yurine, are at a very different point in their arc. Ayaka, always number two to her "rival" Yurine, finally beats her and is number one again in the school. With this, Yurine reminds Ayaka of what she needs to do - confront her mother. We finally get this long needed confrontation between Ayaka and her harsh, expectant mother and its handling is superb here. Canno-sensei rises above the cliches of the genre to give us a true moment (I won't spoil it because it's so well written).

What this moment does for Ayaka frees her but also messes with her at the same time, prompting some real progress in her relationship with Yurine. Yurine, true to form, is slightly clueless about Ayaka's mood afterwards. However, she too takes some important steps forward.

Again, I don't want to spoil all the good stuff, because there is a lot of it in this volume. But both couples have some great lines, some great kisses, some great moments. We get well written scenes, we get emotionally honest and real writing. Canno-sensei really did some of her (jeez, I'm assuming Canno is a her, but I don't really know honestly) best work in this. Other than the volume with Ayaka and Yurine on the beach at night, this might be some of the strongest writing in the series.

The art continues to be good overall, but the character's body postures are still stiff. However the use of deep blacks (often with a white outline) as well as shades of gray and screen tones are well done, the characters are mostly very recognizable (although by now there are so freakin' many of them that I can't really remember all their back stories as they pop up in the main story).

So Kiss & White Lily for My Dearest Girl volume 9 is well done all around, one of the best so far in the series, and seems to be setting up a very fulfilling climax in volume 10 (what I believe is the final volume of the series). If you've been enjoying this series so far, definitely read volume 9, and if you've never read the series, it seems that it's going to end strong, so now's a good time to get caught up before the final volume comes out. I'm giving this volume an 8/10.

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Provenance is a ridiculous true-crime art caper at its best (Book Review)

Provenance (Penguin Books) - 8.5/10

I love paintings, and I love art forgery! There is something magical about learning to copy another artist's style and creating something new like theirs. Now, I'd never condone swindling someone by passing a forgery off as the real deal. It's more that I love the idea of getting into the artist's head enough to really learn their techniques - to see through their eyes while mastering their technical gifts.

So in addition to viewing the paintings and reading about the artists I love, I also spend a fair amount of time reading about famous art forgers and forgery circles. But never, in a million years would I have conceived of the scope of forgery and the intricate nature of the crime contained in "Provenance" a true-crime non-fiction book by Laney Salisbury and Aly Sujo (Penguin Books).

"Provenance" is a detailed, but fluidly told account of one of the largest and most complex forgery cases in world history. It is also the story of one supremely strange and intriguing man, John Drewe, the screw-loose mastermind of this elaborate scheme. The authors bring a reporters eye and a storytellers heart to this true crime book. Even if art history and art forgery aren't interesting to you, their writing style and research have created a fast-paced, engaging, and fascinating book.

John Drewe claims to be a physicist consulting with the British government, including some of its covert branches and foreign governments. He also has claimed to be just about everything else imaginable. But he is also strange, boastful, manic, convoluted, rampantly creative with his narratives, and seemingly has convinced himself of each of his lies. What he isn't however, is a painter.

Instead, in the midst of whatever other lies Drewe is currently engaged in, he stumbles onto the once-and-failed painter John Myatt. Myatt is now divorced, raising his two children, and working as a part time art teacher struggling to make ends meet. Drewe convinces Myatt of Drewe's self-proclaimed awesomeness, Myatt feels as though Drewe is taking him under his wing and looks up to Drewe as a mentor of sorts. Recognizing Myatt's talent, Drewe commissions him to make some paintings "in the style of..." Drewe is able to sell these and splits the funds with Myatt who desperately needs the money.

Over time, and despite a growing awareness of what is really going on, Myatt finds himself falling in love with his new success as a painter, even if it isn't his own original vision being sold. When Drewe invites him to the unveiling of two works in a major museum, Myatt finally has to come to grips with the fact Drewe has been passing of his works as the real deals. There in the museum, are two Myatt fakes being received as if they were the originals.

But this is only the very beginning of Drewe and Myatt's deceptions. Myatt would remain the painter throughout, challenging and pushing himself to ever greater heights of artistry culminating in about 240 fakes. Drewe would push to ever greater depths of deceit to sell these fakes. The story spans continents, multiple museums, galleries, artists foundations, appraisers, libraries and investigators all told with stunning clarity and empathy.

What was most upsetting to me about this crime, and was consequently Drewe's biggest innovation, is from where the book draws its title. There are few ways to sell a major artist's unknown work (as the forgeries were trying to present themselves) without a proper provenance. Provenance is the history that records the paintings creation through its chain of ownership up to the present. Along with scientific analysis and a trained eye, provenance is the third leg of the art appraisal world. It is essential to have good provenance to sell an unknown painting by a major artist at auction.

Where Drewe was succeeding with minor (and some major) art galleries relying on their eyes alone, it was the major works - whether with the large auction houses, major collectors, or museums - that required impeccable provenance. Something no fake could ever have. But Drewe found a way.

Like Myattt would forge paintings, Drewe would forge provenance. By using his growing renown as an art dealer to worm his way unfettered into various museum libraries and archives, Drewe would actually insert forged documents into the archives then request copies of them which would then bear the stamps from the institutions, thus validating the fake documents as if they were the real things. He would insert photos into gallery logs from the '60s stored in these archives, he would make faked exhibition catalogs from 100 year old exhibitions inserting Myatt's paintings into these exhibitions despite their having been painted only weeks before. He wrote letters in peoples names, he made his own stamps bearing a monastery's logo, and he edited log books amongst many tricks.

This was both brilliant, and supremely evil, and really riled me up. Fake paintings are one thing (and the stupid people who didn't do the scientific analysis that would have easily spotted them as fakes). But Drewe, by corrupting the archives, was actually rewriting history. Now Myatt's fake paintings looked as though they genuinely existed. The very places art historians and researchers trust as having unimpeachable evidence - the museum libraries and archives - were now filled with Drewe's lies, forever altering "objective" history. That is what made me so mad. Even after the enter charade was exposed, and museums did their best to clean the archives, there are still countless forged documents yet to be found (along with dozens of Myatt's paintings still in circulation).

By the third act, our criminal investigators are hot on the trail, Drewe might be involved in a murder, and Myatt is doing everything he can to get out and away from Drewe and back into an honorable life. The scenes of the police finally arriving at Myatt's home are heartbreaking. He is allowed to get his children on to their school bus before being arrested. He helps them uncover all he has done, ultimately turning star witness against Drewe. Myatt proves sympathetic as a struggling father with previously unrealized talent who got caught up by a master manipulator, a manipulator who rarely even paid Myatt his fair share of their earnings.

The book does a brilliant job tying all the stories, interviews, and lose ends together into a highly readable narrative. It blends direct quotes with pieced together journalism. It is told from each major character's point of view, at least as much as one can get into Drewe's head. It is incredible how many people in the art world were willing to speak to the authors to flesh out the full story.

Ultimately Drewe, Myatt, and others would face justice for their acts, but the damage done to history, the purchasers who still own fakes that have yet to be unmasked, and the undermining of the sacred processes of art-vetting (or the exposure of that process as a fraud in and of itself) leave us with an unsettling feeling that there was no true resolution to this decade long scam.

Provenance is crime caper of epic proportions, beautifully told, true to life, and thoroughly researched. It is well written and a fascinating, emotional read. I highly recommend this book regardless of whether you have a thing for art forgery or not. It is a strong 8.5/10.

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Maiden Railways - short love stories on trains (Manga Review)

Maiden Railways - 7/10

I don't know where I came across "Maiden Railways" to think to add it to my Amazon wish list, it might have even just been a recommendation by Amazon. All I knew going in was that it was something about romance and trains and maybe yuri stories. And in the end, that's more or less what it was, a collection of several romance-ish stories, in a handsomely printed volume, with uniquely pretty art. Not bad actually.

The first story is about a young female pickpocket getting caught up with a feuding couple on a train. It's got some cute moments, but the couple really just needs a good therapist to teach them how to talk to each other, and a less meddlesome brother-in-law. It's not really a believable story, and I'm a little creeped out at the suggestion that the brother-in-law and the pick-pocket might end up together, she seems too young for that, but overall, it is mildly entertaining if a bit silly.

The second story is a more high-school romance story, or more properly put, its about what probably happens after every high-school romance series ends. This is the story of a young lady on the day of graduation (I think) or maybe just the day she moves away (to Germany - do Japanese parents really go overseas for work as much as they do in manga?). She has broken up with her high-school boyfriend because she has always secretly loved another boy and is going to confess, even though she is going away. It's definitely romantic and a little sentimental. And even though I liked it, I must say that it feels like unburdening yourself at someone else's expense to confess on the day you are moving away.

The third and fourth stories are connected. This is really the closest to yuri that the volume gets and it's unclear exactly where it's going. In the first story, one character has lost her girlfriend who is now marrying a man, and the other character has to turn down a female friend who has confessed to her. But somehow, these two characters end up together despite what seems like a big age difference and also that character two doesn't seem to necessarily be into girls romantically. This story takes place on a rail platform, almost exclusively.

The second of their stories concerns the older one watching the younger one in her school baseball game, and it's just a little quick story. Still unclear if they are actually together or hanging out as friends, but something about the pairing doesn't feel right (it's mostly the age difference).

The fifth story is about another married couple who needs to learn how to communicate, but the underlying cause of their mis-communication is an old model-railway that the community now tends after its original owner passes away. It's got a few nice moments, but also a bit unrealistic in how the characters act.

The sixth story was my favorite, and I won't spoil the twist ending for you, but it involves two women, worried about their relationships, with some interesting connections that come about through their conversation one night on the rail platform.

The final story adds an element that slightly ties together all the other stories around the life of a station attendant. It is a slight and minor story.

The mangaka, Asumiko Nakamura, must either love trains or have wanted to really study them, because the technical detail of the lines, the trains themselves, some of the history, the stations, etc... is evident in the writing and art. The art itself is relatively simple, but it has a loose, languid geometry to it that separates it from other styles. At least this isn't cookie cutter art. It's also not cute or moe, thank god. I would overall describe this as a josei genre set of stories and the art appropriately supports that. It isn't really detailed art, there isn't much screen tone use, the backgrounds are almost non-existent, but it works overall.

This is also the first release by the manga publisher Denpa that I have purchased. It is well constructed with fold around thick glossy color covers and the quality of the interior paper is quite high. I like that the interior paper has good tooth as well as not being stark white, but also clearly above the average quality of tankobon paper. I don't like the stark white of some high end releases, I like the more newspapery coloring with the black and white art. Here, we have high quality paper that is just a touch grayed, so it's perfect.

I like that Maiden Railways is a self-contained volume, that overall (other than age gaps) it isn't very problematic (oh, there is one panty shot, crap), that it focuses on women's points of view, that it's josei and not shoujo so the characters are older and the experiences aren't all in high-school. The art is okay, at least it's lines are quite different than other mangakas. I didn't feel particularly moved by the stories, but they were pleasant. And I think that's how I would sum up the whole volume, pleasant, but not amazing. I'm going to give this a perfectly nice 7/10.

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Laura Jane Grace's Memoir "Tranny" is a powerful and essential read (Book Review)

"Tranny: Confessions of Punk Rock's Most Infamous Anarchist Sellout," the memoir by Against Me! singer Laura Jane Grace, is a powerful depiction of life in a band and her struggles to recognize and then accept herself as a transgender woman. As is my practice for all memoirs and autobiographies, I will not be offering a numeric score nor a critical review. How could I ever judge someone's life? Instead, please accept when I tell you that this is a fast paced, well-written, eye-opening, and impactful memoir covering more than 15 years of Laura's life from teen to coming out with the crazy band stuff in the middle!

As I am working through my own transition and slowly coming out, I've been searching for people (in real life and in books) to learn from and find mirrors in. I was familiar with Against Me! from my days in the music industry. Although anarchist punk isn't really what I listen to, several of my clients were heavily influenced by them and were big fans, so I knew they were important. Several years ago, I cheered from afar as Laura Jane Grace came out to the world as a transgender woman. I had no idea what her life had been like, how sad, crippling, and dangerous her journey was.

Starting life as the child of a military father, Laura (who does not shy away from using her deadname while telling her story, but I feel uncomfortable using here so I will go by her chosen name) bounced from town to town, including a long stay in Italy. It was there that her parents separated and she was ultimately raised by her single mom back in Florida. There was no one like her there, it was a conservative swamp away from anything that could bring joy. It was a land of bullying, disenfranchisement, and targeting by police. It was there that Laura put her band together.

Against Me! started as a true DIY indie punk band (not even with a real drum kit!), hell-bent on leading a life in line with its anarchist beliefs. The memoir chronicles their rise to fame, the hatred of old fans when they released an album on a major label, the fights, the drugs (OMG the drugs!), the drinking, the changes in the lineup, the loves, and the losses. It does so in vivid, stark, and forthright passages. Laura admits just how messed up and unpleasant she was. She presents with total honesty and self-reflection of her own role in so many destroyed relationships.

However, during her entire life, going back to a young child, she was aware that there was something different inside and over time experienced harsher and harsher dysphoria. Many times in her life she could not fight the urges to present as a woman, if only in private. On and off, rejecting it, hiding it, denying it, fighting against it, this struggle for acceptance seems intimately woven into the other (often poor) choices she made in life, particularly the high level of drug use, a form of self medication possibly.

The memoir ends with her coming out and losing her wife as a result. It also depicts the horrible double bind that being famous and coming out puts on a trans person, who then must conform anew to what society expects from a transgender person. Rather than allowing Laura the freedom to experiment and explore in safety, she was forced to wear this new persona just as she had worn her old gender: in a way that matched other's expectations. How absolutely crushing that she wasn't given the space she needed at the time.

Perhaps though, the passages that most upset me were her discussion of the process of accessing hormone replacement therapy (HRT). She describes in several painful scenes the barriers put up by psychotherapists and endocrinologists, the acts she had to put on to convince them, and the lack of autonomy they provided her back. It is an absolute travesty that trans health-care is not more accessible and less insistent upon playing stereotypes. Many endocrinologists require that people have "lived" as their new gender for a year before starting hormones. However, what else have they been living their whole lives? They may have been expressing a different gender, but they were always living as whomever they were, even if they hadn't realized it yet or chosen to publicly express it. The requirement to be wearing a wig and a dress, as Laura was made to do, just to convince someone else of your gender is unconscionable.

It's hard to tell exactly, but by the end of the memoir, it appears that Laura is settling into her continued transition and the new realities as well as a new era for her music. The whole book is interesting, fast-paced, vividly described and a window into a complex and nearly tragic life. Whether you are looking to understand one person's journey as a trans women or a lover of popular music and curious about the inner workings of the industry, this memoir succeeds. As a combination of both, it is excellent.

While I didn't find as many direct parallels into my own journey with Laura's story as I have with others, there are so many powerful and eye-opening moments that I am so glad I read it. This is a must-read.

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Our Dreams at Dusk Volume 1 - an important LGBTQ manga (Manga Review)

Normally I give a numeric score as part of my reviews. However, for some things like memoirs and autobiographical graphic novels, it is simply not appropriate for me to "judge" someone's life. While Our Dreams at Dusk Volume 1 (Seven Seas) is a work of fiction, given the importance of accurate depictions and representations of LGBTQ teens in media of all types, I am also disinclined to give a numeric score here out of respect for this important series. I am simply glad that there is a manga addressing this community in a sensitive and realistic fashion, hopeful that it will provide one more mirror for those looking for validation and affirmation as well as serving as one more piece of normalizing the LGBTQ experience.

That being said, had Our Dreams at Dusk vol. 1 been trashy, poorly written, poorly illustrated, problematic, etc... I would have no compunction about tearing into it. So thankfully, I am glad to say that it lived up to its billing as a critical piece of LGBTQ representation and storytelling. Many manga that features LGBTQ characters fall into genres or tropes where the true social ramifications of being queer are not really addressed. Most yuri for instance tends to place no burden or stigma on women in relationships, and yet society clearly still marginalizes them, excludes them, and makes it outright dangerous at times to be out. There seem to be only a few titles that tackle the true complexities experienced by LGBTQ individuals, and Our Dreams at Dusk volume 1 appears to be a solid and needed bit of quality representation.

We meet Tasuku Kaname as students in his school are teasing him and alleging that he is gay. Unwilling to out himself, he denies it. This is the fiercely horrifying position that many LGBTQ individuals who are not out face on a regular basis: a) lie about who they are to prevent ostracization and being forced to come out ahead of schedule which means they are denying their own identity or b) confirm it before they are ready to be out - thus being outed by someone else. Tasuku has that impossible choice to make, and refutes that he is gay.

While contemplating attempting suicide, an all too real outcome of this sort of social and societal stigma and bigotry, Tasuku believes that someone next to him has just done the same by jumping out a window. (If you need help, please call the national suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255). Worried, he goes in search of her and to let people know what he saw.

He stumbles into a "drop in center" where other guests explain that this mysterious young woman is named "Someone-san" and that's how she goes out for a walk, so she's just fine. Over the course of the volume, he has interactions with the mysterious Someone-san who helps him begin to unpack his feelings (even though she refuses to actually tell him anything, at least he's talking out loud about things) as well as meeting others in the drop-in center, some of whom are also members of the LGBTQ community.

The drop-in center was established by a non-profit that restores crumbling historical homes in the area. Tasuku starts volunteering with this work, meeting a young woman who is married to another young woman. These two women are at different places in their own comfort with being out and their process helps Tasuku also begin to face himself.

In all, this is a volume that accurately depicts many of the confusions, questions, fears, stigmas, and complications that LGBTQ youth face. It also depicts some healthy role models and does so in a story that has some intrigue and mystery. The writing is solid as is the pacing. The art has a nice, clear, crispness to it and there is plenty of detail in the art without being hyper-detailed. From what I can tell in this one volume, it seems like it will live up to what I heard about it (from its original Japanese release) as well as my hopes and expectations for a truly emotionally valid and relevant LGBTQ teen journey.

I would highly recommend you check out this volume and I am very excited for the rest of the series. I think this could be a very important series for many youth (and adults).

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National suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255